This Week in High Fashion: Lindsay Lohan Needs to Be Smacked.

This Week in High Fashion: Lindsay Lohan Needs to Be Smacked.

Today at 8:57am

Last week I wrote a break-up/begging them to change/I'm sorry, I'm such a needy fashion weasel/please take me back/I promise I'll pick up the drycleaning letter to Paris Fashion week...

But honestly, after seeing what Emanuel Ungaro let Lindsay Lohan do to their name I don't know if I'm ready to apologize in person...

I'm sorry, you DID read that correctly I used LINDSAY LOHAN and EMANUEL UNGARO in the same sentence.

There was even an article in the Vancouver Province about how bad it was (which is definitely saying something)...and how bad was it? Like Miami Vice vomited on a Malibu Barbie... that's how bad. I'm talking all varieties of PINK, SHORT badly draped skirts, "whimsical" HEARTS (read childish here... I do), LONG "boyfriend" blazers (EW), and PASTIES.... Now, I love me some burlesque pasties... indeed I do... but on the CATWALK? At EMANUEL UNGARO???? Gaaaahhhhhhh! I'm going to file this under the "desperate attempts to gain popular interest by enabling a spazzed out starlet to control the label for a season" The "classy" result? Fashion Crimes about to be committed by young girls with more money than brains...

Doing a few searches, I'm seriously tickled to see that many of the articles on this "debut" begin with "Lindsay Ruins..." "Everyone HATES Lindsay's... "Lindsay MURDERS...

"So Ungaro got the press that they wanted for this event...but even though Jesse James, Bonny and Clyde, and even Eminem can vouch for the old adage that any publicity is good publicity, I don't think it works that way in fashion... the "fading fashion house" of Ungaro may just go down in flames fueled by the tequila on Miss Lohan's breath...

I'm so sorry Ungaro... the "ASS" has arrived to mess up your class.

Ungaro....welcome to the new face of your brand...

Some bits of tart from the collection...

Left, heinous little 2-tone bra top...with a sparkley heart in the middle... awwRight, hot MESS... emphasis on the MESSMiddle... the MESS herself and a mode.... paid victim.

Above: Oh look... a bandaid dress.Is this high fashion or bondage? Club Wear on the Catwalk??Below: The Joker's girlfriend will no longer have to agonize over where to shop to support her man with fashion... Ungaro by a landslide!

Oh look...a nipple slip...Lindsay Lohan relives her early 20's on the runway. What's next? An "accidental" limo exit flash?

To my left, some bad pants and overdone gladiator heels, to my right bad harem pants and heart shaped pasties.In the middle.... AUGH!

Ungaro in better days...

The good thing about nostalgia... it lives forever... much like Lindsay's criminal record and subsequent mugshots.