This Week in High Fashion: I Fight With Flare Again.
Today at 12:43pm
Dear Flare Online Ragazine. The last time we spoke, I was calling you out... we exchanged some heated words, I said some things I probablay should regret, but I don't... and you just sat there in stony silence... almost begging me to say more horrid things to you...
I don't know what's become of our relationship, Flare. I don't know what to say to you lately... we seem to be drifting apart you and I... I'm hurt, I'm betrayed and I'm just flat out bored with you. That's right... bored bored bored. Not only did you publish that lacklustre review of Paris Fashion Week, but you continue to spew out articles and fashion/makeup advice that I wouldn't give to a style challenged hooker. Your exposee on the "Hottest Boot Trend EVER" (super tall Pretty Woman-esque boots) left me cold... I don't know what I want from our relationship anymore Flare. I thought I wanted to lean on you, that your years of fashion experience would help me grow and inspire me...but no.
Why am I so angry you ask? So disenchanted with you today? Its your half-ass attempt at picking 10 trends from Toronto's LG Fashion Week. Why didn't you just re-post your Top 10 Trends from Paris Fashion Week article? You highlighted the SAME THINGS.
I also have a problem with the fact that your display photos and examples for one, are hardly examples of what you're talking about and 2.... you quotes Sears and Joe Fresh as Fashion houses. I'm sorry Flare, and you can call me a snob if you want... but if I can see Joe's fashions in the same place that I buy my toilet paper... it's not fashion... it's Superstore.
Damn it all Flare, I'm tired of trying to reason with you... I've had enough of your excuses. Consider yourself dumped.
Flare's Top 10 Trends from Toronto Fashion Week
Trend #1~OTT Ruffles
Over The Top Ruffles? Really? Is that what you mean? I have to tell you Flare... ruffles have been in and out and in and out so many times that I don't even know if it can be called a trend any more.... it's more of a "how retro am I feeling today" kind of thing... which is fine. I'm actually not mad at you for this one. I'm mad at you because you listed Project Runway loser Jason Meyers as one of the inspired designers. That guy can't design his way out of a paper bag unless you put down a breadcrumb trail of gold lame or sequins.
*shudder*
Trend#2~Shoulder Focus
Aside from the fact that this is a recycled trend from the Paris Catwalks where equally hideous shoulder pads were featured, I highly doubt that reasonable women will buy into this crap.
Turn away from the shoulder pads!!! I can understand what's happening with this dress, I really can... Lucien Matis is another brilliant designer to come off of Project Runway... he loves women and designes beautiful things for them. I am mad at you, Flare for putting him in the same category as Sears.
Do I need to point out again that Spring = show more skin season...hence the need for less in the sleeve department...this is NOT rocket science.
Trend #3~LWD
Give me a freaking break Flare... that's your second recycling warning. The LWD "trend" will get the same reaction from me as it did in your Paris Top 10. It's SPRING. White Dresses are what people wear. STOP labelling annual occurrences as trendy things. It's like saying boots will be big this Fall... and Scarves will be in this Winter. OF COURSE THEY WILL BE!
Greta Constantine, you're soooo Ziggy Stardust.
Trend #4 ~ Sweet Nothings
Third warning, this is also recycled from Paris Top 10's, Flare... did you think I wouldn't notice??? While I appreciate your wilingness to find ways to justify your earlier article by backing it up with a Canadian content Top 10.... it's really starting to bug me.
And to top it all off... your example photo is a Joe Fresh creation. Available at a Superstore near you... don't forget to pick up some tinfoil while you're buying your underthings.
Joe Fresh
They' rein the aisle right by the baby formula and household appliances...watch out for the crazy lady at the end of the aisle who's talking to the brightly coloured rubber balls.
Trend #5 ~ Sport Billy
Number one issue here... I don't know what a Sport Billy is... that's Flare's title... not mine. The photo below... I'm not sure how this is a sporty look... is it an active fabric? Can I go to the gym in this? I love Evan Biddell... I've been Addicted to Biddell ever since he walked onto that stupid show with his stupid hair and basket woven silk... seriously. This looks like a lazy pantsuit to me... a catsuit without the cat part... it looks awkward and not at all sporty... except for the hood? Maybe? Does that make it sporty??
I'd wear this on a camel riding expedition...or to the beach...
Evan Biddell
Trend #6 ~ Leather Love
I actually agree with this trend. Leather is hip... especially vegan, and recycled leather... I can see that becoming a trend with no issues whatsoever. Vawk did it amazingly last season... so why stop now. Although, I have to admit, I hate the colour of the leather in this example... and what's with all of the clothing lately being cut like we're all pregnant? Maybe it's just my imagination.
Also Flare...saying that leather looks for spring will be softer and lot more lightweight...is redundant. It is what it is.
Trend #7 ~ Solid Brights
*ahem* SPRING FASHION IS ABOUT BRIGHT COLOUR
So yes, Thank You Flare, for once again bringing the obvious to our attention.
New trend for next spring!!! COLOUR!!!
Um...yeah...how about "tropical fruit colours" or something a little more exciting.
And is that space padding on the bottom of that dress? She looks like a stackable child's toy.
Trend #8 ~ Parachute Dresses
"Floor-skimming dresses that revealed gorgeous gams in the front and cascaded to the floor in the back were in full force showing Olivier Theyskens' Nina Ricci influence"
I still hate booties. Especially these ones because they're shiny silver lame.
Y'know, I remember a time when we made fun of Hollywood stars who wore dresses like this. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this new example is very beautiful and extremely sexy and feminine... but honestly, it's just an elongated bubble dress and in the back of my mind, I see Geena Davis.
I'm sorry Geena...you put up with months and months of ridicule and worset dressed lists, only to discover that you were so ahead of your time it wasn't even possible to believe it. I never thought I would see the day when you bubble headed fashion editors would say that this was a trend.
Trend #9 ~ Tulle Rosettes
I'm not even going to say anything more than this because I can't even spit it out I'm so offended by this "trend".
The model looks like she's ready for a tiny tutu's class.
And once again, available at a Superstore near you. You too can dress yourself right off of the runways of exotic Toronto for bargain prices and the local convenience of Superstore. High Fashion look, warehouse feel.
Give me a million breaks Toronto Fashion Week...was Superstore a corporate sponsor? Honestly...this is as horrible to me as seeing Isaak Mizrahi design for Fairweather.
Trend #10 ~ Warm vs Cool
This is recycled trend #4 Flare. I've had enough of your crap.
Spring is about colour... this is not a neutral... this is a pastel. Pastel is a colour shade/hue/feeling/entity. It is NOT a neutral. Beige is a neutral.
How about a 1920's trend?
I can't talk to you anymore Flare. We're through.
This is a 1920's trend.
This is not a neutral.
When did pastel/ice blue become a neutral? Was I asleep? What else did I miss?
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