Yesterday at 9:29am
Ghouls and Gobblies, I was sent the BEST article on fashion that I've ever seen yesterday... Mankind has suffered for fashion trends for thousands of years... braving the caves of giant bears to clothe our ancestral behinds, brass rings wrapped around the neck to protect against tiger maulings, high high high heels to destroy the foot while elongating and enhancing the leg, dancing en pointe... we put our bodies through some shit to look beautiful, don't we kiddies?
And that wasn't the only danger, the elongated hips of the crinoline presented a huge danger in knocking over candles, which sounds silly and clumsy, but was deadly for more than a few women who went up in flames or who were unable to exit a building because their skirts were too wide to get out the front door in a hurry...
Now, I for one, am a corset lover... they give a shape like no other and there is nothing sexier than a woman who wears a corset like it's her second skin...
So how is this "deadly"?
Hence, that MARVELOUS Victorian invention... the heaving bosom... and fainting feminine violets... too delicate for the world of men. I would be too if I couldn't speak without gasping.
Ah yes...footbinding. Han Chinese nobles were inflicting this body modification on their female children hundreds of years before the advent of the corset...
Death by blood poisoning or infection was common, as were other injuries relating to the breaking of the bones of the toes and foot arch. A lucky woman survived the process with tiny feet, measureing 2-4 inches long in ideal cases. An unlucky woman would have larger or imperfectly shaped lillies, which would erase her possibilities for a noble marriage and more than likely she would be one of the unlucky women who would have to do manual labour while tottering around on eternally broken feet.
Deadly Trend #3 ~ The Fontage
Now this sounds really simple...women put crap in their hair all the time...
Deadly Trend #2 ~ Lead Based Makeup
How is it Deadly?
How was this manly contraption Deadly?
If only the popped collars of today were so deadly (you have to admit, they're annoyingly similar)... life would be so much simpler and so less full of retarded guys in too tight shirts.