This Week in High Fashion: Buckle Up, it's GRAMMY TIME!

This Week in High Fashion: Buckle Up, it's GRAMMY TIME!

Monday, February 1, 2010 at 12:15pm

Grammy Fashion is SO much fun…isn’t it my lovelies?
It’s not like the American Music awards, or the Billboard Awards…nooo…this is “Music’s Big Night”…and most people who attend…well they tend to go a little more hardcore on their fashion…don’t you agree?
Well, this year is different for one fantastic reason…and her name is Lady Gaga…well it’s actually not her name, but you get the idea.
I approve of the crazy…in fact, I wish I was able to dress a little crazy and dye my hair a little crazy and NOT get fired or lambasted by all and sundry for being a little odd.
FU Corporate Culture. F. U.

BUT I digress. ON to the fashion!

The Goddess of Gaga with buttercup yellow extensions and a freaking STAR in her hands….I don’t know how she walks in those shoes, but I don’t care because she looks fucking amazing. The dress is genius…and I almost died when I did a little web search and found out it’s ARMANI. So was the green camel toe suit! I'm in shock. And a little more in love with Armani….if this is what he was busy creating for Gaga, I forgive him for showing boring shit at Paris Haute Couture week.

I love you Space Barbie!

How can I NOT ♥ Armani for desiging this? Honestly.

Taylor Swift…yes I’m going to talk about Taylor Swift. I LOVED her navy blue glittery dress. BUT I have to say that her red carpet entry with hair UP, was YUCK….too much makeup, too severe a hairstyle…but LATER when she was dropping her awards all over the place…she looked fantastic. Can’t say I cared for the boring peachy/nude dress either…blaaah….”oooh she’s so pretty and feminine and American Apple Pie-tasting” Apple Pie makes me feel sick.

Love the hair...post red carpet her makeup and hair were both toned down...and I like this combo way better than I like the earlier combo.

Combo #1...not so good. Too sexy, too dark...and too much.

Apple Pie!

Jennifer Lopez…you are past your prime…American Music Awards you wore that Thierry Mugler “I’m trying to be Beyonce” dress…and now you’re wearing silver stretchy lame with a macramé detail??? WTF is this about??? Did you fall into Barbarella and then get caught in a hippie commune web on your way out of 1970? (on a side note, the word “hippie” is in spell check…I am amazed.)

Barbarella wears it better...and with similar hair.

P!nk….I’m always interested to see what she arrives in versus what she rocks out on stage…in this case, she totally reminded me of Rhianna’s American Music awards appearance…arrive in a GORGEOUS dress…and then rock out on stage in a sheet and some shiny bandaids. Sure. Whatever makes you happy darling.

Pink...why do you always do this to me...you're SO pretty...

And then you hide it all in a sheet...

and then you do fucked up stuff like this and I ♥ you more.

Beyonce actually made me really sad this year…red carpet arrival in a mother of the bride style dress with big shoulders (oooo FLARE, I said SHOULDERS) in a boring colour, and switch to….another dress with BIG SHOULDERS, sad cleavage, weird texture, in several boring colours…and with some stuff hanging off it that looked like they belonged on key rings or perhaps a Grammy charm bracelet…

UG Beyonce! REALLY???




I don't like this Beyonce trend.

Black Eyed Peas…and specifically Fergie, who was actually photographed ALONE on the red carpet…start the Twitter rumors now…Fergie is (as always) a trainwreck in my book…but not one of those ones that you slow down and want to look at to figure out what’s happening or how it all came to pass...Fergie is the pedal to the metal type of trainwrecks…don’t look it’s just too too horrible.
She arrived looking GOOD…and I’m ashamed to type this…because I’ve never said that before about Fergie. EVER. Thankfully for me, she fulfilled her destiny and turned a complete 180 for her performance…the space theme was awesome oh Lady Gaga, meh on J-Lo, and movie scream worthy on the Black Eyed Peas…Fergie is even “rocking” a shiny golf visor. I am terrified of this trend and I’m so glad it has no place in the “real” world.

Fergie...fabulous and understated and actually pretty lovely on the red carpet...

All kinds of galactic train wreck on stage!
Pew Pew Pew!

Now I have to get into the gallery of WTF and HTF. What the FUCK were these people thinking when their stylists handed them their outfits for the night…and more importantly…WHO the FUCK are some of these people? WHY are they famous? ARE they famous?

Imogen Heap. I get that you’re quirky, I get that you’re an “artist”…I get it…really I do. But WTF are you wearing and why is your umbrella open inside, WTF is in your hand? And last but not least, WTF is up with the collar “detail” on your dress? You look like an Alexander McQueen dark carnival show reject….and that’s NOT a good thing.

Imogen Heap...
Found her dress on the trash heap behind the traveling circus...

Recording artist? Nadeea…riiiiight. A recording artist…that’s what she is. I’m filing her under a mix of WTF and HTF…even Google can’t quite decide who she is.


Snooki from Jersey Shore …WTF are you wearing? A bandaid dress? And BOOTIES!!! What is this, 2009? HOW did you get famous?? HTF did you have to blow to get an invite to the Grammy’s, let alone be allowed to prance and pose down the red carpet…you are side door worthy…siiiiiide door like Russell Brand…..eeewwww
And WTF kind of name is Snooki???? HONESTLY. Your “nickname” is labeling you as a booty call for life…I hope you regret this when you turn 30 and want to have a real career that doesn’t involve being a ho.

I won't even type your name out a third time for fear it will give you more power.

Imelda May…I don’t know HTF you are…but you look good in gold…you should…you’re Irish. I also LOVE your hair. Yum Yum Yum.

Liquid gold is only good on a few occasions...this one, when it was covering Angelina Jolie in Beowulf...that's about it.

Jennifer Nettles…don’t know HTF you are either…and WTF is happening with your dress/outfit thing? There are 2 good things going on here…detailed bodice…leather pants…apart…awesome…together….nightmare. Oh how shocking…Google tells me you’re a country artist. Yee haw, that explains the leather pants.

2 good wardrobe ideas...one bad facial expression...

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