This Week in High Fashion: Victoria’s Secret is finally boring.

This Week in High Fashion: Victoria’s Secret is finally boring.

Today at 1:37pm

Did I just say what I think I said? That I find VC boring??? OMG I totally did.

And unfortunately, it’s true.

I never thought that the day would come that I wouldn’t be drooling over the lingerie and “clothing” provided in store, by catalogue and online by the glamtabulous VS. But I am. I suppose there is a certain point that one reaches where a pair of underwear IS just a pair of underwear, and once you’ve seen one thong, you’ve seen em all? Have I hit that jaded bracket? I must have. But maybe it was the clothing itself… not just the fact that it’s undies.

Let’s examine shall we?

The Million $$ bra

To be precise here, it’s the 3 Million Dollar Bra. The bra itself, it pretty if a little bit boring by previous VS Million $ standards… the model is scary. She’s either had an unfortunate smelting accident, or that was a really bad ab surgery/tummy tuck job. Seriously. Woah.


This is MY idea of a million dollar bra...just sayin.

Sweet and overdone, who doesn’t love a plaid schoolgirl style underwear set.

So cute. Not quite sure how the clock themed wings/halo relate, but I’m not complaining…

it’s pretty cool.

I'm still not sure what this is all about... maybe something subtle like "every second that ticks by is taking you further away from looking like this". Eff you VS.


Now we get to the mess.

Victoria… WTF is this about?

60’s meets messy bedroom, meets my 80’s McDonald’s Happy Meal toy collection, and then they all mated and exploded on the runway??? I can hear Jim Henson spinning in his grave over the muppet you skinned to make that coat.

I can't even comment on these sanely.

After the mess… there is the PRETTY

Jewel tones, embellishments, you name it!!! I love this part of the collection… but I’m also a sucker for corsets.

I can't even think properly with all of the gorgeous going on here.

I am not, however, a sucker for Fergie. Ew.

*movie scream*

There are also a few pieces that I'm just going to toss in here as the supreme WTF of the day.I don't know what you're thinking here, VS, but I'm sure Flare's "Fashionista's" will love it.

Does everyone want to be Thierry Mugler this year? I think I missed that memo.

Ziggy Stardust was hot shit in the 80's. This is 2009. Get over yourselves.

Seriously... WTF is it made of jellybeans? Foam peanuts? I this the new patriotism? BTW the underwear is ugly.

Are they balloons? Is she going to make balloon animals next? How does the fuzzy hat tie in? Are those mittens I see? Is that how you "winterize" underwear?

All in all Victoria, what can I say to you? I’m curious who you’re dressing these days… that is one thing. I’m also amazed at your steadfast use of Heidi Klum… from like 1998 onwards you’ve used her in every show that she hasn’t been preggo for… good on ya. She’s holding up well for a “former” supermodel with a couple of kids… so why did you slap her in the green burlap sack for her trip down the catwalk? She totally deserves a pair of those epic wings. I think you owe it to her VS… I really do.

No comments:

Post a Comment